Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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