I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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