let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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