I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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