we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize