she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
