OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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