Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am available for nakedness
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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