So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
