We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
