i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
