careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
