I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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