My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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