Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
do herpes really smell.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
