So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize