Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So do you want to come over? ;)

(763): View more from Minnesota

Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ

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(513): View more from Ohio

How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.

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(518): View more from New York

i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis

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(216): View more from Ohio

i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket

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