Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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