GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
