Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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