so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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