One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
