Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Operation Purity has been aborted
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
