He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is wine microwaveable?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
