So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
