Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
