I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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