you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Vodka?
Forever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
