Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
