He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
