i was born a porn star she said
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize