and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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