Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
