i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
