i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
