You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
