i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
