a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
