if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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