i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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