I like to think it a success when the cops are called
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize