Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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