Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
