Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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