So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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