Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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