I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
