yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
