watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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