is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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