the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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