Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
