Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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