your room smells of hookers.
And success
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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