He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
