So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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