i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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