this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
