So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
