Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
