You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
