they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Shame is for Republicans.
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