You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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