Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
