Non-Jews are for practice
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He kissed a someone with a penis
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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