so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize