Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
