But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
