If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
