I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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