More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
