Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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