Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize