My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
